Stop That.

Assalamualaikum and hi guys! 

Today, something happened in my Science class. We went into a room, i don't know what's the name but we watched some slideshows sorta thing from a laptop. And when the class almost ended, a few of my classmates asked the teacher to open the google image to search something. A picture of one of my classmates. He was absent though. 

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY THE TEACHER WAS FOLLOWING WHAT THEY WANTED EVEN THOUGH SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER. The picture had nothing funny to laugh at. They were making fun of him. 

That made me extremely mad. Yes, I did try to stop them but they won't listen. The picture was fine, but when they laughed at it, I felt like slapping each and every one of them. It's because it's such an embarrassment. I get it, i know how it feels to have people betray you and stab behind your back and laugh at you without you knowing anything, not a single clue. I know how it feels like. 

As example, that guy you laughed at, you don't know what he's going through. His parents could be divorced, maybe his brother hit him, his grandfather maybe fell sick, or he could be an orphan. 

The girl you made fun of, her friends could be ignoring her, her boyfriend maybe is cheating on her, her sister probably died yesterday, she could be cutting herself, or she could be depressed.

Do you even know all that stuffs? NO! Why? BECAUSE YOU'RE GODDAMN SELFISH. That's why you should stop being such a jerk and try to at least care a bit! If only you know how it feels like, then you may talk about it. Tell me if it's good or bad to have people talk behind you, make fun of you, laugh at you, and all the stuff every human hates. 

You should stop talking behind people's back, stop that. Everyone has our own dark secret.

Imagine, there's this one big secret you want to keep between you and your "so-called best friend" ONLY. And the next day, the whole school knows about it. So, how do you feel about it? 

So embarrassed that you wish you could dig a huge hole and bury yourself. So embarrassed that you want to transfer to another school. So embarrassed that you feel like committing suicide. So embarrassed that you hope to make yourself disappear. 

Change your attitude. Stop all those things. I know even me myself, I can't escape from making sins and lots of bad stuffs. I'm not even perfect but "Aslih nafsak wad'u ghairak." It means "Purify yourself and preach others." or "Improve yourself and ask other people to do the same."

Stop with all those bad talking about other people. I can't stand it. Please, for the sake of Allah and ourselves.

"If a servant, covers the shame of another servant, on the Day of Judgment Allah will cover their shame." [Muslim, Al-Birr (Virtue); 72]

Even God says that He will cover the shame of a servant. So, who do you think you are? We are all human beings, everyone has feelings. You, me, your friend, my neighbour, our teachers, the cleaners. We are all the same, wake up and realize that. 

New Chapter

Assalamualaikum and hi guys! It's been such a long time since I updated any entry. Oh my, I miss this blog. 

You know, sometimes when we think about the future, we get frighten by just the thought about it. I came to my senses just a few seconds ago, and decided to write a new entry. 

I deleted most of my useless entries from the past years. When I read those entries, of course I had some flashbacks. But the thing is, the first thought that came across my mind is "What the heck was thinking?" I'm hating my old self now (please laugh and give me a huge applause).

I was immature. So weak and insecure. The kind of person I personally don't like with passion (well the word 'hate' is quite strong). It made me realize that I've changed so much. Obviously; the way of thinking. 

Reading those old entries also made me realize that I was gedik (probably still). I was a truly judgmental person. And I suck at my attitude too. After all these years, finally figured out why there's so many people that doesn't like me. 

I judged the people that judges other people, and that makes me the same person as they are. I hated people because they judge other people, but I clearly did the same thing. I probably just needed some attention back then, aha. And now I know why I wasn't happy about myself. I hated me. 

I had this very strong feelings that told me that I'm in need of a change. My mind told me that need to change my way of thinking and my heart told me to be "kinder". 

Well what do I expect? I can't expect my 11 and 12 y/o self to think straight. I was a kid. I still am, but a little bit matured. 

I used to have A LOT of negative thinking. I remember imagining the way I thought I would die. I used to think staying at home was stressful and would make me mad. It's quite true in some ways, but now I think staying at home is better than going out. You know why? Spending lots of money for something that doesn't even worth it and then regret it for the next few hours. (I'm sorry, I get distracted easily)

I used to think life is all about the pain and it will make you suffer. And I thought dying was good for you. But, NO! It's not a good thing. But we just can't stop it from happening. It's going to happen someday. Everyone is going to die. 

I was terribly scared to grow up and refuse to (i want to but i can't somehow). I've only lived 14 years on this planet Earth. There's so much things that I don't know. But for some reasons, I know that the world we are living in now, is scary. 

But let's be positive! Spread positive vibes. There are many hard things in life to achieve, but there's this saying that says, "Everyone wants happiness, no one wants pain. But you can't have a rainbow, without a little rain." It's cute though. 

I want to be more positive. A better person. Someone who is brand new. The one that tries to be patient and accept the reality. I want to love myself. I want to be happier.